Nothing can fully prepare you for the emotions you may feel after a loved one dies. You might feel confusion, longing, anxiety, anger, sorrow, and even physical pain. The following article shares ways to balance your sorrow and celebration while grieving.

Learning to live without your loved one takes time. That’s why All Care offers grief support for 13 months after the loss of a loved one in hospice care. Even if you don’t want to use our program right away, you can contact us at any time during the 13-month period. All Care’s bereavement counselor is available to you and other family members by calling 781-244-1198 or emailing bereavement@allcare.org.

The Five Cs for Balancing Sorrow and Celebration While Grieving

By Elaine Tiller, M.Div.

1. Choose

Think ahead of time about what you really want to do on a particular holiday so that you have a choice rather than falling into the trap of feeling you have to do things that you don’t want to do. Choosing means a willingness to…

2. Change

Your world has changed and been turned upside down. Be willing to allow yourself to make changes rather than feeling you have to do everything exactly the same as you’ve always done them. Be good to yourself and change things that just don’t fit you right now. Changing things means the need to communicate with others…

3. Communicate

Talk with all of your family members about what each of you want and need and don’t want and don’t need for this holiday. Be as open and honest as possible with each other even if you want opposite things. This leads to…

4. Compromise

We each grieve differently and have different needs. One person in the family may need to have everything for the holidays remain the same as before and other family members may feel the need to do everything differently or do nothing at all. Compromise is the answer-communicate and share your thinking and feelings and then be willing to give up some of what you want and encourage others to do the same so that everyone gets some of what they want and need. Which leads to…

5. Comfort

Be good to yourself and find as much comfort as you can for yourself in your time of grief. Do those things that help you to feel good and give you some comfort. When we are grieving, we do not have to hurt every second and minute. Our loved one would not want this for us. It is okay to feel times of joy, times of fun, times of celebration while we are grieving. It is not disrespectful, and it does not mean that we didn’t and don’t love them deeply.

Link to full article at by Elaine Tiller, M.Div.

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